There are times when I start thinking deeper, and today is one of those times.
I wonder. Are human beings born with evil in their hearts just yet to be developed, or do they slowly gain darkness in their pure souls? Well, evil might be too strong a word in this case. My experiences, my feelings, the way I am treated. Why are some people so self-centered, so selfish, so pretentious? So many questions.
I remembered. An acquaintance, someone distant, someone popular. She asked for a favour. Being the me that I am, I agreed because I find no reason to not. More importantly, my personality didn’t allow me. Yet, no thank yous, no gratitude. I’m taken for granted. I wonder how she could act one way when she needed me and the other when I’m not of use. I never understood.
I remembered. I grew older and started to understand things. But did understanding helped? Nope. I’m still the same old me, foolish and underestimated. But this time, there’s a change. A friend, someone I treasured, someone I trusted. I thought I knew her. Yet, she backstabbed me. Now, I know. Trust is something easily broken.
I remembered. Adults, I thought they were different. It turns out I was wrong. They are similar, the only difference being the age. Ah, I thought. Humans never change. My teacher treated me well when her position is at stake. My music conductor changed her attitude when I seem useful. Why? I wondered. Why can’t people be genuine?
Now, I’m 16. Many questions still unanswered. There are people who I know truly stands by me, people such as my parents. I’ll always look forward to the awesome people out there I’ve yet to meet. Honestly, I’m thankful. The world is not kind to someone like me. My experiences allowed me to grow and mature. I learned to become stronger, kinder and to always treat others they way I’d like to be treated. I’m ready to continue in my quest to understand and learn.